Tag Archives: Indie rock label

Funny Fkin FAQ from Dovecote Records – New York Indie Rock Label

WILL YOU SIGN MY BAND?

Do you have a sharpie?

WHERE CAN I SEND MY BAND’S DEMO? (WE SUCK)

Please send all demos to Stefan Max.  His email is max (at) roadrunnerrecords.com

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION TO PREVIOUS QUESTION: HI, MY BAND REALLY FUCKING SUCKS. IS IT OK IF I SEND YOU A CURT EMAIL DEMANDING TO KNOW WHAT YOU AS A LABEL CAN DO FOR US?

OMG, totally! I hate you and your family. Love, David Heggie

HEY DOVECOTE, I’M IN A BAND CALLED CASPER AND THE COOKIES, CAN I PUT YOU ON OUR EMAIL LIST AND INCESSANTLY EMAIL YOU ABOUT NEWS ITEMS YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT?

That’s fine but please understand that we’re already in talks with Pie Crust and the Cool Whips so you’ve got some competish.

WHERE CAN I SEND MY BAND’S DEMO? (WE DON’T SUCK)

Email a link to mp3s or a myspace page to us.  USE OUR CONTACT FORM ON THE CONTACT PAGE.  Also, don’t hound us about it or add us to your mailing list because we WILL find you.

HOW DO YOU SPELL DOVECOTE?

Well if you’re a fan of the music, go ahead and spell it as you see it.  But if you’re a member of a marketing company we pay thousands of dollars to, please go ahead and massacre it anyway you seem fit.  Deeohveeeeceeohteeee

WHO WOULD I TALK TO ABOUT INTERVIEWING THE SILVERSUN PICKUPS?

Oh, that’s the wrong bird themed label.  It happens all the time.  Please refer all questions to Chip Adams, Erin Chandler, and AJ Tobey.

I WORK AT HEAVY HITTER INC., WILL YOU RIDE A MECHANICAL BULL WITH ME?

Yes.

OK, IF I’M GAY BUT WISH TO ALSO RIDE A MECHANICAL BULL, IS THERE A HAT THAT REFLECTS MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE?

Yes Dave. It’s a Dr Suess hat with a dildo stapled to the top.

I ALSO WORK AT HEAVY HITTER INC., IF WE SAY LETS GO TO LUNCH AND WE SUGGEST OLIVE GARDEN IN JEST, WILL YOU MAKE US GO THERE ANYWAY?

All you can eat so bring a garbage bag that we can stuff on the down low which we’ll then leave by the back door to pick up after we leave out the front door so the OG staff gets none the wiser to our breadstick / salad / soup heist.

HEY GUYS, I HAVE THIS IDEA TO SHOOT A MUSIC VIDEO AT MEDIEVAL TIMES… ARE YOU GUYS DOWN?

Do you even have to ask?

MY NAME IS JO LENARDI, WILL YOU MAKE SURE TO NEVER CONTACT ME UNLESS ONE OF YOU ARE BLEEDING IN NH?

Portsmouth has good seafood. I’ll call you if anyone from Dovecote / Deathcote is choking on a clam.

WILL YOU MAKE ME A SMOOTH JAZZ MIXTAPE?

Hrm well… if you own a bakery that happens to house a recording studio that happens to also be a legitimate masonic temple… then yes we will.  But only if you show up drunk to our private functions and scare our friends.

IF YOU WERE A DOG, WHAT KIND OF APPROACH WOULD YOU USE WHEN SNIFFING BOTH OTHER DOG’S ASSES AND THE HUMAN CROTCH? FAKE AFFECTION TO GET CLOSE OR JUST DIVE AT THE PRIZE?

RUNNING START STRAIGHT INTO NOSE DIVE

WHAT DO I DO IF I AM OFFERED THE CHOICE OF RAPING A RACCOON OR EATING A HAMSTER?

Get all of the contact info of the person who is offering this choice and text it to Dave Heggie.

IS KOSUKE FROM THE ORIENT?

Common misconception, but no. He was actually born in the kitchen of the Olive Garden on 6th Ave.

WHAT DO YOU THINK REALLY KILLED THE DINOSAURS?

Dino-AIDS

Source

Advertisements